Wednesday, May 16, 2012


The other day I felt a flutter and I excitedly paused to feel it with my hand... then I realized mid-pause that a) I'm not pregnant and b) the "flutter" was my lunch digesting.

True story.

A friend of mine told me her Mom, who had 3 children (all of which are grown adults now), will still wake up at night sometimes thinking she hears her children's cries only to realize they no longer live at home. This got me to thinking about how strong the connection of being a Mother is. Certain sounds, smells, sights, tastes, and touches can instantly transport a Mom back to her baby, no matter how old the Mom or the baby. The brain associates the 5 senses to memory, this has been proven. With Logan, I stayed at the hospital (due to my complication) for 5 days. That was a long time. In that time, Joe would raid the hospital snack bar at 3am for us. One thing we ate a ton of was their chocolate chip cookies. I liked chocolate chip cookies before I had Logan, but now, I will always equate them with nursing my baby boy in the glow of the light that shone underneath my hospital room door from the hallway. Joe would sit across from me in the rocker and we would chat about how Emmi was doing at home, what we guessed Logan would be when he grew up, how I was feeling... And just like that they tasted sweeter.

While I will miss being pregnant immensely and I realize that one day my faux flutters will really be a thing of the past, I will always have my cookies memories.

A week after we brought Logan home, I found these, placed upright in our pantry. Joe obviously felt the same way about them and brought them home, unbeknownst to me. I don't think we'll ever open them.

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