Grief

In my short time of being a Mommy, I have realized that Motherhood is all about happiness and grief. Grief? Did she say grief? Yes, grief. As a Mom, you are happy for all the milestones and progress in your child's life but those progressions are a package deal. Kind of a "buy one, get one free", if you will. Because every accomplishment holds hands with its pal sweet sadness. Sweet sadness is where you grieve for that moment of growth that once passed, cannot be undone. In truth, I celebrate and grieve every day. I celebrate Logan's development while simultaneously grieving and holding onto that sweetness of whatever he has outgrown. My own Mother warned me about it. What am I supposed to do when it happens? I remember asking her (at a time when Emmi was still but an orange-sized being inside of me). You celebrate, you smile, you laugh, you cry, then you let it go and keep going to the next phase or stage, she said. Really? That's it? That's it, she said. Now looking back, I realize what else can you do? Relish the sweetness, roll around in it a bit even, grieve it... then let it go.

  

So, in the spirit of happiness, Birdie had a fantastic check-up today. He now weighs 18 pounds and is 27.5 inches long. He's holding steady at the 95-98th percentile for height and 75-90th percentile for weight. To use Joe's words, we are growing a beanpole (Emmi) and a bowling ball (Logan). The Dr. said he can move on to chunkier foods (already) and start pureed meats (already!). 

Single and Lovin' It!

And, in the spirit of grief, I have moved this (below) from where it sat which was next to my side of the bed. Notice it is not actually IN the attic, just simply around the corner from its original position. Just far enough that when I come upstairs I don't immediately see it, but if I turn the corner, it is there. And when I'm done grieving the sweetness of my baby boy no longer fitting or having a use for his bassinet, I will...

let it go.